“I would die in my sleep.” I am pretty sure that is what most everyone
says; everyone except we, the more adventurous few.
If I could choose any way to go, it would be like
this:
Okay, before you freak out, listen to what I have to
say. I am not just a derranged, violent kid, and I am not a pyromaniac (I enjoy
fire and explosions as much as the next Boy Scout, but I am no Crazy Harry).
(Left)
A chaotic Muppet possessed by an uncanny obsession with explosives.
I really have plenty of good reason for my wish, now
hear me out.
I will compare this form of exiting our mortal
existence to that of dying in your sleep (seeing as it is the most wished for
transportation into the world beyond).
So let’s explore.
Why do people want to die in their sleep? Upon inquiry, these were the
answers I received: painlessness, peacefulness, lack of fear, lack of anxiety, because
it is easy, and because it is relaxing. I am going to say that all these
qualities fit under the category of “Comfort” Comfort to the body and the mind.
Comfort. Good reason. You wouldn't have comfort in a
car bombing would you? You would just be blown to the high heavens real quick,
just like that. In fact, it would be so quick that it would probably be
painless. It just might be so quick; you wouldn't even realize that you were
dying. That would eliminate anxiety. No worries, you would just be dead. That
could even be peaceful, depending on how you were feeling when you started the
car. Honestly, that sounds pretty comfortable to me. Okay, not comfortable, but
not un-comfortable. You are just dead.
This isn't a fact, but (in a non-religious, non-afterlife situation) when you
are dead, you can’t be comfortable, you can only be dead.
Comfort is a fantastic reason, but maybe there is
more to dying than comfort.
As before mentioned, I spent some time asking people
why they would like to die and why they would like to die that way (and I thank
all of you for taking time out of your day to answer my random questions). Only one person did not say they would like
to die in their sleep. This more adventurous person said if they could choose a
way to die, they would be pushing someone out of the way of a bus (or a train
or something else that could potentially squash people).
They would have purpose with their death. They would
die for something.
But what if you could die in comfort and die for
something at the same time? Wouldn't that be the way to go? But how could you do that? Oh, I have an idea.
Go out in comfort. Go out with honor. Go out with a Bang.
Assassination by Car Bombing is the way to go.
For your enjoyment: Chanson D’Amour
